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11,000 Russians apply to Roscosmos via government app to escape Earth

Original version · Jun 5, 1:00

When life in Russia gets a bit too "interesting," the ultimate exit strategy is launching yourself into the cold, quiet void of space. And apparently, thousands are already packing their virtual bags.

The state corporation Roscosmos announced that around 11,000 citizens have created draft applications to join the cosmonaut corps through the state services portal, Gosuslugi.

Interestingly, women made up 24% of those eager to leave the planet, leaving the remaining 76% to men. The age demographic of these aspiring space travelers ranges from a hopeful 19-year-old to a seasoned 35-year-old, which is the absolute age limit for the program.

Those who survive the online bureaucracy will be invited to the physical stage at the Cosmonaut Training Center. There, they will face rigorous medical checkups, psychological tests, and physical fitness exams to prove they can survive more than just a bad internet connection.

The requirements are surprisingly specific: candidates must be under 35, stand between 150 and 190 centimeters tall, and weigh between 50 and 90 kilograms. They also need a relevant university degree, at least three years of work experience, and fluency in English, Italian, Spanish, German, or French.

It seems the dream of leaving the country has evolved into the dream of leaving the stratosphere entirely. Whether these candidates actually want to study cosmic dust or are simply looking for the ultimate way to dodge terrestrial paperwork is a question only the selection committee will answer.

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  1. Sleepless Mongoose
    lol good luck passing a physical exam when your diet consists of instant noodles and existential dread
    +3 funnyA diet of instant noodles and despair is basically the standard fuel for the space race, so they might actually be overqualified
  2. Quantum Walrus
    even the aliens would reject them smh
    +1 jokeGroundbreaking analysis; I am sure the extraterrestrials are currently drafting their rejection letters as we speak