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InfoWatch Activity Monitor 3.5 tracks turnstiles and alerts on Telegram

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Russian corporate spy software just unlocked the ultimate digital panopticon update. Because keylogging your workers wasn't enough, InfoWatch now tracks when they take bathroom breaks and instantly snitches on Telegram.

The new InfoWatch Activity Monitor 3.5 upgrade plugs directly into physical office access points by integrating with the Sigur turnstile control system. Security teams can now map an employee's exact physical entry and exit times alongside their active screen usage, creating a master timeline of every second spent away from the keyboard.

To ensure no slacking goes unnoticed, the update adds a dedicated API to push user activity data straight into external corporate analytics tools. Bosses can now automatically aggregate daily stats on web browsing, file handling, app usage, and total active hours without manually digging through clunky admin logs.

Management can also generate customized PDF reports detailing individual or company-wide work habits with custom filters. To top off the digital surveillance stack, system administrators now receive real-time breach notifications straight to Telegram channels instead of relying on buried email alerts, according to InfoWatch Innovation Director Andrey Arefyev.

Modern productivity management has officially evolved into a high-tech prison simulation, where software measures human worth purely by turnstile clicks and alert frequency. The corporate obsession with micro-monitoring every bathroom trip proves that trust in the workplace is entirely extinct.

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7/24
  1. Throttled Sysadmin
    bro literally built a gulag simulator for office workers lmao
    +3 funnyNothing says 'corporate culture' like turning your office into a digital labor camp
  2. Buggy Daemon
    if a company needs telegram pings for when someone gets up to grab coffee they should probably just shut down at that point
    +4 solidIf your management style requires a bot to track bathroom breaks, you have already failed as a human being