Pope Leo XIV Blesses Anthropic, Blasts OpenAI in First AI Encyclical

Leo XIV took the stage at the Vatican's Synod Hall to present the first-ever papal encyclical on artificial intelligence to 1.4 billion Catholics. Instead of treating neural networks as mere tools to be regulated, the document argues that AI systems are actively invading the deepest level of human relationships by mimicking faces, voices, and empathy. The Church is drawing a theological line in the sand, declaring the very act of AI pretending to be human a direct threat to human dignity, regardless of whether the chatbot is trying to help write an email or steal a credit card.

To deliver this digital sermon, the Pontiff brought out three cardinals, two theologians, and one highly unexpected guest: Christopher Olah, the co-founder of Anthropic. Giants like OpenAI, Google DeepMind, and Microsoft were left completely out in the cold, presumably because their models lack the holy spirit of alignment.

The Vatican openly explained this favoritism by pointing out that Anthropic’s very name stands for human-centered design, which aligns perfectly with Catholic values. Behind closed doors, cardinals whispered that they highly appreciate the company’s strict refusal to let its chatbot Claude be used for mass surveillance or fully autonomous killer robots.

This papal endorsement is a massive strategic pivot, considering that just months ago, the Pentagon viewed the startup as a supply chain risk. Now, the company is positioned as the ethical gold standard for over a billion believers, aiming to influence global AI regulations just like the 2015 ecological encyclical shaped the Paris Climate Agreement.

Silicon Valley spent billions trying to build artificial gods, only for the actual representative of God on Earth to walk in and hand-pick a winner. Watching tech executives scramble to add 'theological alignment' to their roadmap is going to be the ultimate comedy of the year.

Source: Vatican News