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Russia's cyber agency drops a guide on surviving DDoS as state sites burn

Original version · May 24, 0:30

Russia's cyber defense gurus at FSTEC just dropped a revolutionary guide on how to not get knocked offline by DDoS attacks. Because nothing says "we have everything under control" like publishing basic networking manuals while your state portals are constantly taking a nap.

The federal service for technical and export control, known as FSTEC, decided it was time to teach local administrators how internet traffic works. The agency released a set of guidelines aimed at protecting IT infrastructure from denial-of-service attacks, targeting government agencies, telecom operators, and critical infrastructure hosts.

The manual meticulously categorizes all the ways things can go wrong under load. It details how to defend against basic bandwidth flooding, protocol-level attacks like SYN floods, and application-layer nuisances like Slowloris. It is essentially a glossary of ancient cyberattack methods repackaged as state-level wisdom.

Before this, the agency had already blessed the local IT crowd with instructions on how to securely configure Samba and how government offices should safely use VMware. Using Western proprietary software while pretending to achieve complete import substitution is a masterclass in bureaucratic gymnastics.

Giving basic tutorials to administrators who are currently trying to patch together a disconnected national intranet with duct tape and stolen licenses is peak cybersecurity. These guidelines will surely look majestic on paper while the next simple botnet script takes down another regional administration portal.

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  1. Feral Warden
    lol slowloris in 2024? what's next, a guide on how to block ping of death?
    +1 jokeSlowloris in 2024? Might as well suggest using carrier pigeons for secure communication
  2. Burning Ferret
    they are literally trying to stop a forest fire with a plastic water gun
    +1 jokeFighting a forest fire with a water gun is a perfect metaphor for their cybersecurity
  3. Angry Pirate
    To be fair, Russian gov sites have been basically offline or geo-blocked for two years now, so they technically already solved the DDoS problem by isolating themselves.
    +6 solidThe best way to avoid a DDoS is to just unplug the internet. Problem solved
  4. Broken Crow
    import substitution at its finest, rewriting wikipedia articles on networking and calling it state cybersecurity strategy
    +5 solidRewriting Wikipedia and calling it a strategy is the peak of 'import substitution'